I really shouldn’t be allowed to own cars.
In high school, I already ran out of gas not too far from home. I went home, grabbed a red can of gasoline from the garage, came back and poured out a gallon of fuel.
When I started the car it made a terrible uproar.
I called my father for help.
Turns out I didn’t grab a can of gasoline.
I had grabbed a can of kerosene.
My father diluted the kerosene with several gallons of gasoline and my car finally started. Although for several days he belched black, smelly clouds of smoke from behind.
Another time I had a brand new car caught in a hailstorm in Texas. And when I say “Texas”, I mean the size of a softball. The whole body was dented and the windshield was smashed. I could only see driving if I put my head out of the window.
For a little while we owned a vintage VW camper van. One day, I took the camper van to pick up the children from school.
A word of advice: don’t even take an air-cooled motor in a school bus line. The stop-and-go traffic will cause the engine to overheat and before you know it the kids will be screaming that there is white smoke coming out of the back of the van.
The Volvo station wagon caused a gas leak and had to be towed to Birmingham.
The replacement station wagon was caught in an international diesel emissions scandal and had to be returned to the manufacturer.
The replacement sedan continued to flash the dashboard warning system lights. After four service calls, they finally determined that the problem was… the warning system. It would take two weeks for the parts to arrive. They couldn’t return my car to me because they had dismantled the engine.
So I borrowed my son’s car. Its “check oil” light kept coming on and off, but I figured it was safe to ignore it for a few days, until my car got out of gear. the workshop.
All of you, I killed my son’s car. He died one summer evening on the side of the promenade.
Luckily all the local towing companies are programmed into my phone.
Now I fear I have distressed my son’s replacement car. Several months ago, he couldn’t unlock his car. The remote did not work. The emergency key did not work. Nothing worked.
The car was towed to the dealership, where they were also unable to unlock the car. They had never seen anything like it.
They had to smash the rear window to get into the car.
They dismantled the driver’s door and discovered that a small cable had come loose.
Replacement cable: $ 2
Replacement window: $ 200
Sense of irony: priceless
Lisa Davis is the editor-in-chief of The Anniston Star. Contact her at [email protected]
Feature Editor Lisa Davis: 256-235-3555.